Author Brooke E. Wayne: Romance with a Kiss of Humor

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I’m not a vain person by any means, but I do value my self-maintenance and spend my money wisely on products most of the time. I’m not above cutting corners with certain things in my beauty regimen. For example, I went for a power walk yesterday–also known as chasing my lil’ princesses around and around the block on their bikes for 40 minutes–and called it good. They had fun, and I worked up a sweat. Workout Hack accomplished.

When it comes to beauty products, I’m also willing to try out just about anything before I commit. When I do though, I’m fiercely loyal.  If I like it, regardless of the price, I’m sold forever and ever. Case in point, I’ve been a Wen Girl for years. (It’s okay to laugh, but I have frizzy/curly hair and nothing else works as well, you see…). If I’m shopping around, I’ll try the frugal route first and buy anything and everything to vet out my possibilities before I do the same with expensive products. I use word of mouth, online reviews, infomercials–you name it–because I’m always in pursuit of that perfect beauty product that will miraculously transform my life. Then, I’m sold and will stock up on it like a doomsday survivor.

Makeup is optional for me on the weekends and vacations, unless I’m headed out the door going somewhere other than the grocery store. Unfortunately, in my case, sporting a natural look still requires some prep work. I’m not into a lovely glow unless I’m at the gym, so I achieve the matte finish that I want when I’m not wearing makeup with PRIMER.

Once upon a time, I had this one particular primer that I absolutely loved. I could only get it through a distributor and had hoarded enough of it to the point that the company discontinued the product for a few years before I realized it. How could they? It was ‘the one’. You know, that perfect primer that mattified your skin to a soft, dull, mono-toned shade of baby’s butt smooth. They left me wandering the aisles of Ulta helplessly in search of a primer replacement.

For the past few months, I’ve been accumulating several under $10 primers in search of something to get me by until I find ‘the next best thing’ product that I can sell my soul to in exchange for the natural look. My pursuit has been some of the best girly-girl fodder for my RomCom writing I have tangled myself up in for a while now. I even tried one $5 product, that not only made moisturizer unnecessary, it managed to turn my face into a shimmering night club, rivaling Edward Cullen basking in the sunshine on any given day. So much for being a true primer. Other products I’ve purchased are, at best, good enough to put foundation on top of, but that’s about it.

Then, I did something very typical of me recently. I fell for an unusual Beauty Hack. I had seen it around on Pinterest, but I never thought of trying it until my primer crisis. Someone was claiming that Monistat’s Chafing Relief Powder Gel was comparable to Smashbox’s Primer. I was intrigued. Is it possible that a clear gel intended for inner thighs, bikini lines, and other intimate areas prone to chafing could be a suitable replacement for an expensive primer? I had to try it, if anything, for another good laugh at my own expense on this mission of mine. I even giggled a little when I found myself at the store facing an awkward moment while I was scanning the products in the angry-v section by the condoms looking for this mysterious elixir that I could slather all over my face in order to look pretty.

The punch line…I’m still using it regularly while I keep looking for ‘the new one’. I wear it naturally with or without moisturizer, and, either way, it dries to a silky matte and keeps my skin tone and shine in check all day long. Given its intended purpose, it’s also non-irritating. Forget having the soft skin of a baby’s butt, my face now mimics the fleshy inner thigh of a desperate woman, and, for the time being, I’m okay with it. My primer pursuit is definitely going in a scene in one of my romantic comedy books someday, and you can laugh and say it’s true–you heard it here first. But, if you happen to know of a good primer, I’m all ears–I mean face.


  1. desleyjane says:

    I’m with you. I find a product and stick with it. When something happens and you can’t get it anymore – disaster! I was using Dior tinted moisturiser for the days when I didn’t want full-on foundation and they discontinued my colour, they only had colours that were too dark for me. So I’ve recently moved over to Napoleon for everything. Their primer is a-mazing. It has chamomile and is a true primer. I also use their eye-area primer which starts toning down the darkness immediately. Have a lovely day!


  2. Kellybean says:

    Interesting read! I’ve been looking for a good primer as well. Maybe I’ll have to give this hack a try!

    Liked by 1 person

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